I do not like polishing the tea pots. My face, already grotesque, reflected, distorted even more in their surface. ~ I have nine books borrowed from the library. Still, I am reading the one new book of poems I found at the thrift store. ~ We don’t know the length, the breadth, the width, the height, and certainly not the depth of our unknowing. ~
“If you do something in the spirit of non-achievement, there is a good quality in it. So just to do something without any particular effort is enough.” Shunryu Suzuki To make something of these times I must make something so I will find a frame in which to nail my thoughts. I cannot beat this lone silence and I cannot take this seedless greening anymore, this yearning growth that knows only down and in, only dragging my thoughts into the night where I cannot find them though I remember having them, remember how they felt if not how they looked, remember them close and warm, and thought them somehow grand or at least telling at the time I barely had them, but now? Now I barely have them even less. Now I am not sure if I have them or if they have me. Now they are lost in their own depths, swimming silently in the rolling black medium of their making. Now they haunt me in their bare being and unmake me and swim through me and I will make nothing of them.
We both drum our fingers. He plays keys that aren’t there while I count imaginary feet and sole syllables.
I’m afraid I’ve fallen off the shadorma band wagon. I’ve been draggin’ my ass but enjoying the ride, enjoying it well enough to keep it up. I reckon I’ll write some more, if thoughts fit form and times permit. Shadorma November, Day...something or other.....hermits aren't good at keeping track of the days.
The palmist has cursed me always to wonder, did i miss that one thing that would have made me truly happy. Shadorma November, Day 8 (late again...)
so many more roadside wreaths out here where youth have so much less to do and yet so far to drive to do it Shadorma November, Day 7 (six days late....) (...or does that make it five?...)
