Swimming

“If you do something in the spirit of non-achievement, there is a good quality in it. So just to do something without any particular effort is enough.”
Shunryu Suzuki



To make something of these times I 
must make something so I will find 
a frame in which to nail my thoughts. 
I cannot beat this lone silence

and I cannot take this seedless 
greening anymore, this yearning 
growth that knows only down and in,
only dragging my thoughts into 

the night where I cannot find them 
though I remember having them, 
remember how they felt if not 
how they looked, remember them close 

and warm, and thought them somehow grand 
or at least telling at the time 
I barely had them, but now? Now 
I barely have them even less. 

Now I am not sure if I have
them or if they have me. Now they 
are lost in their own depths, swimming 
silently in the rolling black 

medium of their making. Now 
they haunt me in their bare being
and unmake me and swim through me
and I will make nothing of them.

Monday’s Music Box: Helplessly Hoping….

…and hopelessly helping….

…because this is how I feel these days….

…and because Megan is a good friend and you should totally be her fan.  If you’re in the San Francisco area, do what you can to go see her perform.  An amazing singer and songwriter.  She also tours like a madwoman so if you’re not in the SF area, keep your eyes open….

She has tons of stuff on youtube as well.

Have you ever felt…

 

 

…like the only one?

Half

she is lonely 
like the lioness.

she is lonely
like the things we
lie on when we don't
lie on them, 
                    like the
half-empty bed, so 
full of the knowledge that
one half of it will never
be lain upon and one
half, 
        if only for tonight, 
will.

Regret

this place I have 
slept through
is a kind of 
hell place

this hollow apartment 

you go back and all 
the furniture is gone

now it is empty

the whole family is gone
and you are alone

now that you have come back
there is no going back to the 
time before you tried to come back

and you are back to the time
before you could have possibly started

and it is over