I did not listen to your leaving
as you left. I did not hear
the floorboards creaking, the scrape
of your fingernails on the wall
down the hall, the click-click
of them on the doorknob, the
catch-cracking of the latch opening
or the scream of the hinge of the door.
No, I did not hear them at all.
I stayed where I was in my chair
with my thoughts and my drink
and my stare but I did hear you stop.
I heard your breath catch in your throat.
I heard the hesitation in your step,
your two desires pulling you apart,
pulling you to pieces right there
on the threshold, right there in the hall.
I heard the split in you. All these things
I heard as you stood there, the house
ticking around you, the floor
stretching away down the hall.
I heard your cheek almost touch
your shoulder, your chin almost
touch your collar bone and then
I heard your head whip back to
front, the snap of the earth back
into place. The slam of the door
I did not hear, and again
the silence as I sat. I
was firm in the fabric
of the seat of the chair.
I was sewn there.
My skin tore
as I tried to rise.
So I didn’t.
So I let you.
(The third piece in a series of unrelated pieces that are somehow, in my mind, related)
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creaky
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…errrrrrrrrr-rr-rrr…..
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This is a great way to write about love and loss…a real one of a kind poem that comes across in your unique voice so I know I am reading something that has not been done before. Love and loss, perhaps the most written about subjects in the history of poetry and here you are telling us about them as if for the first time…Johnny Crabcakes, I think you really are the poet you started out to become.
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You are too kind, sir. I started telling myself this story about 2 years ago, so I guess there’s a lot to be said for leaving things on the back burner for a while. Some things….others, I get too impatient to wait.
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Wow! That is powerful. I felt that pain, that tearing apart in her, in him, that terrifying inertia when he could not rise. It captures that inner struggle for both so perfectly and beautifully.
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Thank you so much, Deborah.
Perhaps it’s guilt. I can remember viscerally being the one that left though I felt like the one in the chair, powerless. “terrifying inertia” sums it up perfectly.
Thanks for the insight!
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Are you Catherine or Heathcliff?
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i am both
and both
are in me
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That must be quite a stretch…
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Yeah, and I’m not as limber as I once was….
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It’s interesting to me how the sensations move from mostly auditory to that final visceral bodily sensation. How you craft them into such a truthful poem, I don’t know. But I’m glad you did.
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Thank you, Lynn. There is a sensation here that I have felt before, even though this is a “fiction”. It has something to do, yes, with sound and silence and how that feels bodily.
Thanks especially for this insight.
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You are frighteningly good at that.
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