Scared Crapless….Help!

So I’m going in to my daughter’s school tomorrow to speak / do a presentation on poetry to the First Grade (AAaaaah!) classes.

I thought I would share some of my favorite nonsense poems from a book I loved as a kid, “A Great Big Ugly Man Came Up and Tied His Horse to Me”, and talk a little bit about rhyme and possibly rhythm in English poetry.  I would love it if any of you beautiful people have any experiences/ideas to share.

The school is a French language-immersion program, so I could also talk about French vs. English poetry forms (syllables vs. stressed) but I think that may be too much for first graders.

Any Ideas?

(I’m not really as scared as I may sound….I think.)



15 thoughts on “Scared Crapless….Help!

  1. My daughter wrote a killer poem last year. Your post made me think about it.
    I’ll post it here and then repost it on my site.
    Thanks for the reminder….
    don’t be scared. LOL….those lil guys arent such a tough audience.
    Funny, it reminds me of my daughters school, calling me, trying to get meto come do a presentation about being a Chef. Of course, I declined I don’t see much glamorous inplaying with food all day. Fun? Certainly. But it won’t make those 1st graders any cash-roll.


    • I hear you — any time someone tells me they (or their kid) is thinking of going to culinary school to become a Chef and do I have any advice, my answer is “Don’t. Do. It.” Unless you like sweating your balls off for 12+ hrs a day for little money, no benefits and no weekends off…ever….and, and and….
      The Food Network has created an entire generation– huge work-force –of under-qualified and soon to be brutally disillusioned young people. I think it’s a conspiracy… 😉


  2. This poem/song was written by my 11 year old to prepare for her first camp trip with her class at school. I laughed my ass off for days over this song. I think you all may enjoy it, as well.

    It’s fun to run.
    It’s fun to play.
    It’s fun to make things out of clay.
    It’s fun to fill your car with gas.
    It’s fun to break things made of glass.

    It’s fun to spray yourself with mace.
    It’s fun to squeeze your mothers face.
    It’s fun to mow your daddy’s grass.
    It’s fun to break things made of glass.
    But broken glass can cut your hand
    and then you’ll bleed across the land.
    Ask a woman, child, or man about the dangers
    Of broken glass.
    Of broken glass.

    I like nice boys with gum disease.
    I like to tickle people’s knees.
    Don’t tell me “no”, just tell me “yes” and then
    We’ll break things made of glass.

    Sometimes I put on special pants and
    Then I board a plane to France.
    When I arrive I start to dance and then
    I break things made of glass.

    Yeah, I know “dance” doesn’t rhyme with “glass”.
    So whatcha gonna do about it, huh?”

    But broken glass can tell you lies.
    Bleed your soul and blind your eyes.
    Like a demon, with a side of fries.

    Mmmmm, children, that glass sure does look delicious, doesn’t it?
    But you can’t eat it.

    But broken glass is not a food.
    So don’t you listen to some dude who says
    “Put cheese on broken glass, and make a sandwich out
    Of broken glass”.

    Lets sing a song about broken glass.
    I’ll help you write it after class.
    There is no song that’s cant surpass this song we sing
    About broken glass.
    You better beware of broken glass.


  3. Sounds like you’ve got it covered…but you could try making a class poem all together…I did this with some kids once by taking a collection of random objects to inspire them: I got them to shout out some describing words and we put them together to make a poem. You could encourage them to use a mix of French and English words….good luck 🙂


    • Thanks face–my wife suggested we all write something together and I will definitely try to work that in. They should have something to “take away”.
      Unfortunately, I speak next-to-no French…


  4. You love poetry and have fun with it every day. This is clear to me from your posts. That’s all you need to do. Love poetry in front of them. Read things you like. Smile pretty and laugh. Poetry is contagious.


  5. I don’t know… I liked Hug O’War, and all of those. Or, “I Cannot Go to School Today, said Little Peggy Ann McKay…” Oh man. Those are great. 98% of the kids won’t get it, and 2% will feel like you just exploded their world with awesomeness.


  6. I wish I had words of advice for you, but I have a deathly fear of public speaking. I think as long as your passion and interest for poetry shows through, that’s all that matters.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.