You were the one who lived through your body while eye lived in mind. When you opened your mouth, your bones spoke to me. They told me of how they wanted to dance, of how they longed to be free of the skin and the flesh of the creature they framed. They wanted to dance in the sky, to dangle in the trees. They wanted to rattle in the breeze and punctuate the silence with their hollow music and all I wanted was to feel them move under my fingers.
I really like this 🙂
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Thanks Mimsy!
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Nice. I really like your play of words in the beginning and your analogy of music (feeling a person under fingers like piano keys) and dancing.
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Thank you Dieu–I really love it when I can work these kinds of tropes into my poems. Interesting to hear how you interpret that last bit . This is an old piece about and old relationship with someone who had intimacy issues….longing for contact on my part. I think I like your take better. Always neat to see how others see one’s work.
Thank you!
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I did get a sense of a bittersweet feel to this : the hollowness of bones in contrast to the joy yearned for with the movement and touch of the body. I agree that it’s always interesting to see how other’s interpret our writing. I feel I have no objectivity over my own writing. There have been times when I think something I’ve written is mediocre and then it gets a lot of good feedback and vice versa. I also like seeing other writers’ work like yours to get inspiration from – it helps me to grow to see how different other writers are in their style, choice of subjects, ect., and to just think about writing in general.
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This for me is one of the wonders of blogging. I enjoy writing about writing almost as much as writing! I’ve got some posts brewing that touch on these subjects…I look forward to future conversations….
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Wow this piece absolutely blew me away, it is so human and feeling in its yearning for touch and closeness. I don’t know how I wandered here but can I say, I’m so happy I found your poetry and other writings. You have great talent with words, thank you for moving me to take part in the blogging world again, I have been a bit tired lately. This poem gave me lots of strenght, a will to live and to feel and explore again.
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Oops, so sorry–just realized you may not have seen my reply below…must have done that wrong….thank you again!
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I am humbled by your kind words. Thank you very much indeed.
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Is it just me, or are the words hung together here like a marionette. You pluck one word and then all the limbs below it jangle?
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I had never quite thought of it / seen it like that before J, but now that you put it that way it is there. I love how seeing one’s work through another’s eyes allows you to see so much more in it (that you often didn’t even know you were putting).
Thank you so much for that, Jeremy.
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