Slugs for Panda

(…they make the same sound as turds when they hit the pavement…and I think they have the same kind of sex as snails…)

First they like to start with a bit of sleazy funk music, perhaps a little

Los Amigos Invisibles

You know, something to get the juices flowing…


and then….


…they bounce down

stretching languourously

on their mutually constrained strand of mucus


blue things come out of the sides of their respective heads

co-mingling so….



as they entwine gracefully tangling

and dangling

in mid-air




eh-eh-eeeever so slowly dropping onto

the ground

under the airy bed

of their copulation….


then “she”

(or at least my wife insists it’s a “she” even though they’re hermaphroditic

because “she’s” the one left in the wet spot while “he” has kissed and ran

            ….well, sort of just slurped off)

snips off that string–the last severing act of their



drop of lust.



Yeah, I was too.

But you couldn’t stop watching either, could you?

It all takes about 18 minutes or so.

I have 67 glossy, digital, time-stamped images to prove it.

I keep them with my etchings.

Would you care to come up and see them some time?

11 thoughts on “Slugs for Panda

  1. My wife asked me if I ever watch porn on the internet. Thanks to you, now I have to answer “once.” Hilarious, yet intriguing.
    18 minutes! What a stud.


  2. Not only could I not stop watching, but I’ve thought of this and actually referred to it this week. (someone asked what kind of things I find interesting, what I like to learn about – and I said everything from Coltrane to slug sex…which made them stammer lol)
    Just thought you’d like to know. 🙂


    • Haha! That’s awesome. I was just listening to Kurt Ellings version of “Resolution” from Live in Chicago…killer vocalese version…(Elling’s a hell of a poet too…)but maybe not as good background music for slug-porn.
      Glad to have helped you make someone possibly sorry they asked 😉


      • Ohhh – I’ll youtube it and drop it on my playlist for today – background for working lol….

        I was listening to NPR tiny desk concerts – Avett brothers are on now… 🙂

        that is truly something that I find enjoyable…that look of slight wonderment and aversion 😀 hehe


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